Building a Treehouse

I’m going to build the world’s best tree-house. I’ve been inspired after watching “Blue Eggs and Spam”, because the main character, Man, has the best tree-house I’ve ever seen. It’s got everything. Secret handshakes to get in, hidden cameras everywhere, an elevator and incredible lights. When I’m done with my tree-house, the show’s version will seem pitiful in comparison. I’m going to have fireworks, an all-you-can-eat restaurant, home cinema, a teleporter, and even an underground bunker.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I have to get the framework done, which means I need to buy timber supplies around Cheltenham. I’ll need a lot since this is going to be bigger than my house itself. By the time I’m done, I’ll probably be breaking the law with a super lair. My kids won’t believe it. We’ll have a landing pad for helicopters on top of the tree. I’m considering drilling underground to create a river for boats. Is that too much?

Of course, it’s not just timber I’ll need. Thankfully, I know the perfect hardware store. Bayside has a few, but the one I plan on using has offered me a great deal. They’ll give me everything I need in exchange for free advertising on the tree-house once it’s done. I could hardly believe it! They’re basically sponsoring my project. It’s nice to know that someone believes in me.

My wife thinks I’ve gone insane. I’ve got the house to myself for a few days, actually. Once I told her that I’d quit my job to work on this tree-house, she offered to take the kids away for a little while so that I could concentrate. That was really nice of her, but I’m still a bit confused. We were in the middle of a bad argument when she suddenly became so supportive of my project. Looks like I got through to her. She’s going to be so impressed when she gets back.